How I will feel when I go back into your arms. The minutes are passing like years without an end. As I try to look carefully at my screen I still manage to daze off thinking about the warmth of your embrace, feeling your skin touching mine. My thoughts drift as I contemplate ways of making my dreams of being with you NOW into a reality. I long to see that look that only you can provide me with. The look that makes me feel that I am the only man in the world, or at least in your world. Only a few more hours until my thoughts can come to actuality. Until then I will continue to immerse my mind with thoughts of us together.
I love you Kendwy
Friday, August 5, 2011
True Gospel
I remember the time I gave my life to the Lord, the pastor was preaching hell and brimstone. I was barely 12 yrs old and hell as described by the pastor was a place I didn't want to spend the rest of eternity. The zeal in the pastors words and the way he so eloquently spoke were enough to captivate my attention fully. "God will send to hell all those that deny Him and live a worldly life" he so meticulously spoke, "God will not always show grace to foolishness and will get you for your actions." Me being merely a 12 yr old feared ghosts and monsters so why wouldn't I fear the devil, his demons and his home? When the altar call was made I was one of the first ones us there. I feared hell and God. I feared that I would live a naughty life and be sentenced to hell. Throughout much of my years in the gospel I lived in fear of God, I'm not talking about the reverant fear that Proverbs 1:7 speaks about. I feared him like the ghosts and monsters I so feared in my childhood. The image of God that the church gave me was an omipotent God holding people over hell with this septor waiting for us to fail so He could happily let us fall.
Then I decided to do what many Christians fail to do, picked up my bible and read it. For so long I was living under a spoken word of a man that fed me what he thought the scripture meant, and because he was my leader I believed him without reservation. Now don't get my wrong, we should submit to our leaders and their teachings, IF they are biblically correct. Sadly many leaders also go by what they are taught and told to teach rather than open up their bibles themselves and study. Did we forget that the people of God perish for lack of knowledge Hosea 4:6.
As I began to study scripture I found verses in their right context that were NOT what I was taught. See, God NEVER made hell for us. Hell was made for the devil and his angels Matthew 25:41. God gave Jesus so that I might have life and have it more abundantly John 10:10. The message of the cross is that through it we have unlimited access to the father. I remember one day I wore a chain with a cross to my old church and my pastor asked me "If your brother was stabbed, would you wear the knife he was stabbed with around your neck?" Are you serious, the lack of knowledge. The power of the cross is a reminder of what God did for us. A reminder of what He saved us from. A reminder that Jesus went to the cross, finish everything, died and was resurrected on the third day. And that while He be lifted up He would draw all men into him John 12:32.
I learned that God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God Ephisians 2:8. And that every gift from God is perfect and CAN NOT be taken back. That I can do all things through Christ who strengthens and empowers me to accomplish an impossible task. I learned that by studying I could break the bondages of the old wine and that I can receive the new wine through Him.
Then I decided to do what many Christians fail to do, picked up my bible and read it. For so long I was living under a spoken word of a man that fed me what he thought the scripture meant, and because he was my leader I believed him without reservation. Now don't get my wrong, we should submit to our leaders and their teachings, IF they are biblically correct. Sadly many leaders also go by what they are taught and told to teach rather than open up their bibles themselves and study. Did we forget that the people of God perish for lack of knowledge Hosea 4:6.
As I began to study scripture I found verses in their right context that were NOT what I was taught. See, God NEVER made hell for us. Hell was made for the devil and his angels Matthew 25:41. God gave Jesus so that I might have life and have it more abundantly John 10:10. The message of the cross is that through it we have unlimited access to the father. I remember one day I wore a chain with a cross to my old church and my pastor asked me "If your brother was stabbed, would you wear the knife he was stabbed with around your neck?" Are you serious, the lack of knowledge. The power of the cross is a reminder of what God did for us. A reminder of what He saved us from. A reminder that Jesus went to the cross, finish everything, died and was resurrected on the third day. And that while He be lifted up He would draw all men into him John 12:32.
I learned that God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God Ephisians 2:8. And that every gift from God is perfect and CAN NOT be taken back. That I can do all things through Christ who strengthens and empowers me to accomplish an impossible task. I learned that by studying I could break the bondages of the old wine and that I can receive the new wine through Him.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Five fold Ministry
Some friends have criticized me because I am a believer of present day Apostles and Prophets. It's weird that they don't believe in these ministries even though on many of their belief statements they quote: We are considered a five fold ministry based on (Ephesians 4:11-12) "And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers. For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ". (KJV) I wonder what the Chief Apostle would think about these churches that really actually believe in a three fold ministry (If that). For churches or people that don't understand the five fold ministries, I'll try in the simplest of forms to explain them.
According to this passage, these people are gifts of Jesus to His church. The five-fold gifts are there to equip God's people to do the work of ministry and in the same way, the perfecting of saints. This way we can function in our particular area effectively. They essentially impart life and knowledge into others.
The Apostle goes, gets the land and covers all other ministries training others to think strategically about the Kingdom and it's key structure.
The Prophet points to the land, prepares and speaks to the four seas equipping others in how to use their prophetic voice.
The Evangelist has the farthest reach in the land and so he preaches to bring souls into the Kingdom. He teaches the people to spread the good news of the Gospel and to make disciples.
The Pastor is given the land and is married to the church so he can care for her. He teaches the church how to care for others and how to maintain disciples.
The Teacher is the one that gives continual instructions to the land and imparts knowledge on how to correctly teach others.
The purpose of these is not to showcase a title, as sadly many do, but to train others with the skills they have been given.
According to this passage, these people are gifts of Jesus to His church. The five-fold gifts are there to equip God's people to do the work of ministry and in the same way, the perfecting of saints. This way we can function in our particular area effectively. They essentially impart life and knowledge into others.
The Apostle goes, gets the land and covers all other ministries training others to think strategically about the Kingdom and it's key structure.
The Prophet points to the land, prepares and speaks to the four seas equipping others in how to use their prophetic voice.
The Evangelist has the farthest reach in the land and so he preaches to bring souls into the Kingdom. He teaches the people to spread the good news of the Gospel and to make disciples.
The Pastor is given the land and is married to the church so he can care for her. He teaches the church how to care for others and how to maintain disciples.
The Teacher is the one that gives continual instructions to the land and imparts knowledge on how to correctly teach others.
The purpose of these is not to showcase a title, as sadly many do, but to train others with the skills they have been given.
Value and Cherish your marriage.
I came across this blog and wanted to share with you.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I ...had to let her know what I was thinking. I wanted a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Drew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Drew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Drew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Drew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Drew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Drew to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I ...had to let her know what I was thinking. I wanted a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Drew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Drew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Drew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Drew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Drew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Drew to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
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